


A goodbye and a promise

by Sapphire_Dreams



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/F, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 12:12:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1428049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Dreams/pseuds/Sapphire_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After 3 months of battling the Wicked Witch Regina is offered one final choice. Surrender herself to a final battle or witness the death of her son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A goodbye and a promise

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published story ever so please be kind. Unbeta'ed so all mistakes are mine. Reviews are very much appreciated. 
> 
> This story has Regina at its center but it is an SQ story at its core. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it - Sapphire--Dreams

A goodbye and a promise

 

The room had grown silent really fast. All eyes were on her. Some filled with pity, some with compassion, and some with an emotion she refused to recognize. She had come a long way. The bitterness and hate that had once inhabited her heart had, somewhere along the way, between curses and loss, motherhood and abandonment, turned into resignation. She wasn’t exactly sorry for what she had done. It would be ludicrous to expect a queen who had gone on such a long and painful quest for revenge to regret all that she had done. It was more of an understanding of why she had done the things she did. Of what her choices had caused, from heartbreak to the gift of her son. Most of all, somewhere along the way, Regina Mills had stopped seeing people around her as mere objects in her quest for what she wanted but as people themselves, in their own right. In a way “the reformation” her son had once talked about was one that even very few of the “good” guys had achieved. To see others as persons, complete and individual, an image that transcended the narrow constrains of good and evil.

“There must be another way!” Snow said with a conviction she did not actually have. “There must be a spell, or or some sort of deal. You can’t just…” she did not finish her sentence. Instead she grasped her husband’s hand, unconsciously wishing for a security the two of them hardly ever had.

“And why should we care?” Grumpy spoke up, taking a step forward, his voice raised. Irritatingly above normal, Regina mused. The things that come to mind at times like these….

“She went after you Snow, she killed your Father, she murdered and tortured hundreds, she cursed us! The Wicked Witch wants to destroy HER and not us. Let her pay the price, for once!” agreeing murmurs echoed through the town hall. _Such an idiotic place to have the final meeting. But yet again the Charmings always clung on the façade of consulting their subjects._

“How can you say that after what she has done for you? She has changed! She gave up her son in order to fix what she broke. Can’t you see that? I agree with Snow there must be a way we haven’t considered. Some sort of .. magic.” Robin was really trying to keep his words calm and Regina appreciated that more than he would ever know. As he talked he pointed at her, the lion tattoo on his arm glistening under the light. He was too kind of a man for her. Too pristine despite his wife’s death. She wished she could somehow make him understand how grateful she was for the past year that he gave her. A semblance of a family and care.

“Why don’t you mind your own business Thief. We all know your angle in this. Just because you fucked her….!”

“ENOUGH!” Emma’s voice rose above everyone else’s. She finally moved for her position at the far end of the wall and stood next to Regina facing those gathered there. Their shoulders were barely touching and Regina could feel the heat radiating from the other woman. She had stood just a few inches in front of her as if protecting her. _Oh Emma. Always the Savior everyone wants you to be._

“Mary Margaret,” she said looking at her mother with a softer gaze, “We’ve tried everything. For three months we’ve done nothing but try. And people keep dying.” She hung her head at that, a reality nobody wanted to admit.

“So what are you saying Emma? We should simply do what this Witch tells us? That is not the way to go! There must be something” Charming desperately tried. He was a moron yes, Regina had never stopped believing that, but he was without a doubt _good_.

“That’s not what I’m saying! I am saying it’s her choice! We have fought so hard over the past three months and we have lost a lot of people but we have to admit David that there is not much more we can do! Yes we might come up with something but we are presented with an offer and the only one who can decided whether to take it is Regina!” she finished exasperated.

Regina studied her for a second. She was annoyed at this conversation that was taking place around her without actually including her. A conversation about her life or death and once again others were trying to make that decision for her. But Emma knew her. Sadly she did. And she placed the decision back in her hands.

The room stared back at her and Regina looked at her hands. Their veins visible from their shaking. She did her best to stop them by clasping them together. She took a deep breath and looked at all of them. Their faces barely registered with her. She might be a fallen Queen but she was still a Queen. She straightened her back and spoke evenly, without betraying any of the emotions cursing through her.  

 “I think it’s time,” she said taking a step forward. “that I face my big sister. But you have to be prepared. If she does not keep her end of the deal… well I will not be able to help you anymore.”

The silence grew even heavier. “Regina…” Hood implored. “No!” she raised her voice and immediately scolder herself for momentarily losing control. “No” she said evenly this time and looked at him with all the kindness she could muster. “No. This has gone far enough. I will NOT put my son in any more danger. And if this affords even the possibility that he will be safe from her… well, I am willing to pay the price for it.”

“I will meet her now,” she finished averting her eyes from Robin’s. She could not take the sadness reflected in them.  

“Regina…” it was Emma that protested this time. “She gave you until tomorrow night.” Her tone was level but Regina knew that she was pleading with her.

“The sooner this madness is put to an end the better. Besides I am well versed in goodbyes Miss Swan. I don’t need time.” Their eyes locked. And as much as Regina tried, she could not look away. Emma’s eyes were always a mystery to her. But at this moment they betrayed more emotion than Regina was able to handle.

“If that’s your choice Regina we will respect it”

“My dear Snow. After all this time haven’t you understood? Haven’t you gotten it yet? A person’s path is pre-determined by the measure of paths afforded to them. Do not mistake this for a choice. Because it is not. When you only have to choose between two bad options then you really don’t have a choice at all.”

“But you still have one and….”

“Yes yes dear. And our choices define who we are. I know that. Despite what this town might think of me, I now know that. But privilege is everything dear and good always has plenty of it.”

Snow did not respond to that. It was not, after all, the time for moral debates. She just shook her head and turned to Regina one last time: “Regina are you sure about this?”

The Queen held her breath for a second. “Yes, Snow. I am.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQSQS

 

The crowd started dispersing. Whispers and looks at Regina followed their exit but Regina simply stood there. Waiting for the final arrangements to be made. Emma had left her side a few minutes ago not before whispering “Do NOT leave yet. I need to have a word.” So Regina stayed despite her mind screaming to just get the hell out of there. She hated goodbyes. They came with emotions and lies. Lies that would not otherwise be spoken but where nevertheless brought on by the prospect of separation.

The Charmings, Emma, the Dwarfes and the merry men were discussing a game plan in case the Witch decided to not follow through with her end of the deal. Regina almost snickered at the image. _How funny things seem to be at times like these._

Suddenly, Robin started approaching her and Regina’s heart sunk. He stood in front of her, with his black leather jacket that so accentuated his shoulders and his light scruff. He still smelled like the forest and Regina had to take a deep breath to lodge that soothing smell in her mind forever.

“Regina” he said. His voice was quiet and sad. And Regina felt guilty all over again. For crushing another heart. Even if she was not using her hands this time.

“I wish you would have waited till tomorrow.” He said as his eyes bore into hers.

“I can’t do that.” She replied smiling, trying to hold back the tears.

“Thank you” he said. “For that year, for giving Rolland a mother even if it was just for a short time. Thank you for mending my heart Regina.” The tears running down his eyes were not reflected in his voice.

And then she hugged him. Because the last year might have been two lives lived, two lives that ended up far differently, and her emotions from back then seemed like a distant memory by now but as she looked into his eyes she could not help but remember. Remember walks into green forests, and battles fought side by side. Someone who asked how she was even when no one was paying attention, who trusted his son with her when he needed to go hunting. Someone who smelled like forest and whose lips were always chapped but still beautiful to kiss.

But she did not cry. She was stronger than that. She finally broke the embrace after a few long moments, far longer than it was proper really, and took a step back. He raised his hand to touch her cheek but thought better of it at the last second.

“I will miss you Regina Mills,” he whispered and then she placed her hand over his heart. A silent apology for what she’d done. Once again. He gave her a last brave smile and walked past her.

She stood there until she heard the doors of the town hall close, clenching her fists. Trying to fight off the emotions. Because if this goodbye managed to crumble her resolve she did not think she could make it through the next two.

“I suppose we should head home” Snow said louder than it was necessary and it was then that Regina noticed that those left behind were staring. The fire within her burned once again and she felt the need to curse at her just so that they would forget her weakness. And a life time ago she would have. But not now. Not when the end was finally within her grasp.

The final few people started leaving the town hall. Snow and Charming stopped in front of her. “Regina…” Snow started and her puppy dog eyes made Regina nauseous. “No Snow. Just go home. Take care of the new Charming. Try not to turn her as infuriatingly good as you. Not that she stands that much of a chance if she’s raised by the two of you.” Her words were comforting. They resembled a Regina already lost but the Queen would not be remember for nothing less than she was: Regal, Lethal, Biting. Snow knew the façade Regina was putting up though and with a last touch on her shoulder she walked out, hand in hand with Charming.

The Queen did not allow herself to think if that could have been her. If she could have had everything that Snow White had. After decades of trying to revenge to get her revenge and trying to acquire for herself all that Snow had, she had resigned to the fact that it was simply not meant to be. Not that she would give them the satisfaction of knowing that.

“I need you to do something for me.” Regina said curtly. There was only one person left in the room, one she had been intentionally avoiding. And she finally looked at Emma. She was not prepared for the look that she was confronted with. But she had never been prepared for anything that Emma Swan was.

Her look was angry and sad and something else that Regina had been denying for three whole months since that day in her office that a tentative truce had been struck between the two of them.

Emma didn’t speak. She just stood there near the stage her hands crossed in front of her.

Regina started taking steps towards her as she was talking. “When everything’s over, regardless of whether Henry has his memories back or not. I need you to take him to the manor. Take him to my study.” She was standing inches apart from her now. “In my bottom desk drawer. The big one, I have all the albums of him growing up. Make sure he sees them. Make sure he knows.”

Emma was still silent. She was still just staring and Regina could not take it. She felt as if her soul was being ripped apart. She felt like she was finally being offered a reason to live the very moment she could not possibly choose to live. _Choices are never real for villains._

“Emma!” She finally said exasperated. “Do you understand what I’m asking of you?”

Emma finally woke up from the trance she appeared to be in. “Bottom drawer. Your office. Got it.”

The Queen seemed satisfied at that response and put her hands back in the pockets of her coat. Her favorite coat.

She let out a small laugh.

Emma whipped her head up, confusion coloring her features.

“It’s my favorite coat,” the queen said with a half-smile.

Emma only rolled her eyes in response.

“Miss Swan if you are done with trying to roll your eyes out of your skull I suggest you head back to our son. It’s late and he will be worried.”

Emma fidgeted with her gloves and she said while staring at them: “Somebody should give you a ride out there. You can’t just leave your Benz in the middle of the forest….”

“I am about to walk to my own death Miss Swan. I couldn’t care less about a car.”

Emma looked at her and the contents of her eyes were like knives in Regina’s chest.

“I know” she said quietly, her tone changed to soft and caring, one reserved for only a few lucky ones. “I want to drive you.” She simply stated. After everything, she didn’t really need to elaborate.

“Fine.” That’s all Regina said and she turned around, taking fast steps towards the death trap of a car Emma owned.

It was dark outside and everyone was gone. You would think that the town would want to witness her undoing, point and sneer as she walked towards the end but they did not. Perhaps she overestimated their hatred towards her or they were in fact fed up with all the curses and old feuds that were threatening to destroy them once more. Either the Queen would willingly participate in her demise or she would not. Either way their safety was not guaranteed.

At the third attempt the car started and Regina tried not to laugh again. _The things you think at times like these._ She would have never thought that she would be driven to her death by the daughter of Snow White, in a car that would barely start, through a town that she created, in a world without magic. Emma looked at her, amusement evident in her bright eyes.

“What?” Regina shot at her.

“It’s so fitting you know” “What is?” “That you would be laughing while doing this” Emma’s voice was infused with an affection that Regina had only come to see in the past few months. It was soothing to have it now and she was thankful at Emma for it.

They stayed silent for the duration of the 10 minute drive. Emma drove as close to the well as she could until she finally stopped in a clearing. They sat silently in the car, staring at the path that led to the well.

“I have a flashlight you could use…”

“Miss Swan have you forgotten that I possess magic?”

“Right” Emma said flatly ignoring the irritation in Regina’s voice.  “There must be another way you know? There must…..”

“No!” Regina interrupted her forcefully. “That’s enough. There is no other way. We’ve had this conversation a hundred times. I will NOT put our son in danger anymore. This is my decision! I thought you could respect it.”

Regina could not take it. She could not handle how Emma’s voice slightly shook when she uttered those words, she could not handle the shimmer of hope that they ignited within her, nor the memories it carried with it.

She quickly got out of the car and slammed the door of the bug. The noise it made startled her. It contrasted so gaudily with the stillness of the night. She stood still in front of the car. Staring at the darkness in front of her.

“I’m sorry Regina. I really am.”

“Don’t…”

“Please let me say this. This is not some goddamn indie film where I just let you walk into the darkness without a word. Nor am I going to pretend that this is ok. That I’m ok with what you are about to do! If you want me to respect your choice you have to respect my feelings about it Regina!” Emma was not yelling but the forcefulness of her words hit Regina like nothing else had. She finally turned and really looked at Emma. Her bloodshot eyes and the circles under them. Her messy hair and the shirt that she had been wearing for the past two days.

“Emma” she said, barely above a whisper.

“You might win! You are so certain that you will die but you might be able to beat her.”

“Emma” she said again trying to stop her because she could not handle what grew in her heart with each word.

But Emma was never one to comply with her wishes. “You have to promise me to actually fight her. Promise me that you will try your fucking best to come back to Henry.” She hesitated for a second and then added “and to me. Promise me you will try to come back to us because no matter what you think he needs you and so do I.”

Regina pretended that the tears that made her eyes glisten where not there. _Love is weakness Regina._

But Emma saw them. She always saw all of her after all. She took a step forward and used her thumb to wipe the tears from Regina’s eyes. The contact was enough for Regina’s heart to lose the fight and for all the emotions she was trying to fight flooded her at once. Love, fear, guilt, anger. And panic. A panic that started taking her over and she had to step back. “Emma no. If you want me to fight you can’t say these things. You can’t…” her voice almost broke but she immediately collected herself. She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and held her head high.

“Love is not weakness Regina. It is strength. You and I know that better than anyone.” Emma touched her again. This time her arm just like that time that they had opened the portal. This time though, there was no magic involved. Just the pressure of Emma’s hand against Regina’s. More real than all the emotions swirling inside Regina; an anchor against them.

Right at that moment Regina decided to allow herself one last moment of weakness. One last moment of being a young innocent girl before turning into Regina Mills again and all that she was. She turned her body towards Emma and cupped her cheek.

“Who is going to make sure that our son does not turn into an uncultured swine if I don’t come back?” she said with absolutely no bite in her words. Instead they had a shadow of playfulness and of unspoken emotions.

“Yeah, and that he eats something other than burgers every day.” Emma replied with a watery smile. A smile that was strong nonetheless.

Then Regina kissed her. Much unlike their first time, she was the one to close the gap between them this time. She moved her lips slowly on Emma’s while her hand caressed her cheek. It seemed fitting that the roles would be reversed now, Emma holding onto Regina’s elbow, taking in the kiss.

It was short but it said everything that needed to be said nonetheless. A goodbye and a promise. For Regina Mills would never be able to say either of those things out loud. No matter how much she changed. She had unexpectedly found out though, that with Emma Swan, she didn’t need to.

Regina pulled away after a few long moments, reigned in all her emotions and walked towards the path.

She never looked back.

 


End file.
